Not Alone

I pray that this post will be used by God and will be an instrument for His Glory.

I am attempting to write something that can initiate freedom and hope in men that are currently in the same battle as I have been in; the battle against pornography and sexual addiction. This is a battle that should not and cannot be won alone. I know, because I tried, and I tried, because I thought it was my only option. I would have loved for someone to write something like this for me when I was at my lowest. A letter of hope that didn't just condemn me for my sin but offered me a way out and a solution to end the cycle of sin in my own life.

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
Romans 3:23-24 NIV

I understand that this post may not be for everyone that normally reads our blog, but this is an area that I feel deeply convicted to share about. If you do not feel like this post applies to you, I encourage you to continue reading it and beg you to point others, that might be in this situation, in the direction of this post.

If you are one of those people that struggles with sexual purity in your life or just your thought life, I hope you find... hope.

I was addicted to pornography for a solid 12 years that included 3 years of our marriage. It was a daily struggle that I lost way more often than I won. My unchecked lust was binding and crushing. I was angry, bitter and lonely in my struggle. There were many times over that 12 year span that I considered ways to escape my prison of depression and shame through either total denial of my faith or the ending of my life. This was especially true during the first 3 years of my marriage. Through the perfect set of circumstances the Lord was able to humble me and soften my heart to the point of seeking out true repentance through complete disclosure to my wife, family and friends. I started a journey of faith in which God has revealed to me His true grace and love for me and His church. A grace and love that I was unable to fathom before my redemption.

One of the biggest thing that I discovered on this journey was just how not alone I was in this sin. for years I thought that I was the only Christian male that was losing this battle so completely. This is a lie that the enemy used against me and may be using against you that I would like to correct. It has become evident as I share my story and my testimony there are far more men in the church that struggle with this then do not.  The fact is that we live in a sexually charged world where access is as simple as a three letter word search on google. There is no denying it and to pretend that we can continue to simply avoid the issue in the church is essentially signing hundreds of young people up for years of bondage and regret. The young and the old of the church have already been affected by sexual sin. The younger generation has grown up and developed with smartphones and tablets at their disposal that present constant potential for access to pornographic content.

The good news is that even though there are so many of us out there that have succumb to the temptations of the enemy, our God is big enough to free us. Even though sin may lurk behind every door we, through Christ, are equipped to conquer it. Even though sex is being sold to us on a daily basis Christ has promised us the victory.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 NIV

"for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."

1 John 5:4-5 NIV

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

1 John 4:4 NIV

If you struggle with purity, please reach out. You are not alone. No matter what the enemy has convinced you of, God still loves you and He still has a plan for your life. The first step to freedom is repentance. Both to God and your fellow believers. 

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

James 5:16 NIV

If you are ready and would like to email me at josh.bell@ponderinghearts.com I would love to pray for you and encourage you on your way to purity. This is a battle that you can win. I would love to come along side you and help pull you out of this area. I can't promise you that it will be easy and I can't promise that it will be instantaneous. I can promise that that it is possible and I promise that if you take the first step of seeking repentance, God will be faithful to heal you and redeem you. 

God bless,

Josh

Resources:

Conquer Series:
This is a several week series that I have gone through twice now. I highly recommend it. If you are interested in doing it please let us know and we can help find you a class in your area or potentially help coordinate getting one started in your area.

https://conquerseries.com/

"Clean" by Dougless Weiss:
This is a book that was recommended to me early on in my struggle for purity. It is one of the most blunt and useful books I have read on this issue.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400204682/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_iwmJDb4ERKWYY

If you are still on the fence and you are thinking that maybe your addiction is not a sin. Please just read and dwell on the below verses.

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. For what is our lot from God above, our heritage from the Almighty on high? Is it not ruin for the wicked, disaster for those who do wrong? Does he not see my ways and count my every step? “If I have walked with falsehood or my foot has hurried after deceit— let God weigh me in honest scales and he will know that I am blameless— if my steps have turned from the path, if my heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, then may others eat what I have sown, and may my crops be uprooted. “If my heart has been enticed by a woman, or if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door, then may my wife grind another man’s grain, and may other men sleep with her. For that would have been wicked, a sin to be judged. It is a fire that burns to Destruction; it would have uprooted my harvest.”

Job 30:1-12 NIV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery, But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Matthew 5:27-28 NIV

“You shall not commit adultery.”

Exodus 20:14 NIV

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Exodus 20:17 NIV

"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace."
Romans 8:6 NIV