Two years ago I found myself in a place with no hope. Just a few months after finding out I was finally pregnant with our first baby Josh confessed to me his addiction to pornography. I was instantly lost, my hope and happiness destroyed. After three years of marriage I was just now finding out that my trust had been misplaced in my husband. I felt trapped and alone. Stuck in a marriage I no longer felt loved or safe in. Stuck with a baby to raise in a home that was broken.
I hit my knees in prayer. I was angry and hurt that God would allow this to happen to me and desperate for some relief from the overwhelming pain I was in. I got an answer I didn’t like in the form of a realization. This shouldn’t have been the end of all hope for me. I should have been standing on the foundation of Christ not Josh. Even if the whole world came crashing down I should have been able to know and feel the love of my Father in heaven.
There is a parable of the houses built on different foundations. Only the wise man built his house on a rock. The rock was the only thing strong enough to keep the house safe from the storm.
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock." (Matthew 7: 24)
My hope had been built on sand, my marriage was built on sand, my husband had built his life on sand…
We needed to rebuild. The task of tearing down the old had been done in a moment but rebuilding would take years. We each went off on our own journey, putting our marriage on hold until we, as individuals, were standing on solid ground. I fought through trusting in God again, finding hope in His promises. Josh fought for freedom from his addictions and breaking free from his pride. There wasn’t an exact moment when we found ourselves on solid ground again. It took the better part of a year before we felt we had corrected our own relationships with God enough to start the process of rebuilding our marriage.
It took intentionality to spend time righting ourselves with Christ and taking the time to work things out with each other. I can tell you it pays off. Almost six years into our marriage and twenty five years into my life with Christ; both of those relationships have never been stronger. With our foundation on God and His promises and the teachings of the Bible we have found peace, love and hope.
It doesn’t have to take hitting rock bottom for you to realize that your life is built on sand. Where is your foundation? Mine was in my husband and it was misplaced. There is only one firm foundation, God. I challenge you to search out the parts of your life that you haven’t built on Christ. If you don’t know what those are then pray that God would reveal them to you. While it never feels good, conviction can be the start of something truly blessed.